


Lucky

by FrankieFandom



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Whump, hurt!Casey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-03 05:13:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8698390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieFandom/pseuds/FrankieFandom
Summary: An accident, a scare and some apple juice.





	1. Truck Crash

**Author's Note:**

> You can all blame Isensiel for providing me with vicious blood thirsty plot bunnies. I take no responsibility for the injuries and subsequent whumping that occurs in this story. This is a short AU set during and after the truck crash in 3.03 Just Drive the Truck. Hallie and Shay never died.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can blame Isensiel for providing me with vicious blood thirsty plot bunnies. I take no responsibility for the injuries and subsequent whumping that occurs in this story. This is a short AU set during and after the truck crash in 3.03 Just Drive The Truck. Hallie and Shay never died.

 

"I can already see the smoke boys! Looks like its rolling!" Cruz called to the others as they made their way to the scene, sirens and lights blaring.

Casey caught a glimpse of another rig, presumably heading to the same scene, he didn't take note of the number plastered on its side but Herrmann did. "Oh boy," he muttered before speaking loudly over the noise of the truck, "Hey Casey, we're neck and neck with your old pal Welch!"

There had been bad blood between Casey and Welch since 81 had beaten them to a scene a few weeks ago, Welch was known as a bit of a prick, a bully, and Casey hadn't wanted to take orders from him.

Casey glanced over to his right to see Welch's rig and before he could say anything Cruz spoke, "Don't worry Casey, I got this."

"I'm not interested in a pissing contest. If Welch wants this fire he can have it." He wasn't going to stoop to Welch's level, he wasn't going to race the man to the scene, he shouldn't have done it last time but the guy was an arse. This time he would take the upper hand, there was no need to act like children. Cruz was still determined to beat the other crew there so Casey reiterated, "Cruz forget him; strike truck."

"Great," Otis commented. "If Welch is going to get there first we'll be taking orders from him."

Herrmann looked around. "Ah... I don't see them. Maybe they got held up."

"See." Casey smiled. "It all works out in the…"

There was an almighty bang, Casey was flung to the left, his brain still trying to figure out where all the noise had come from, a sharp pain emanated from his side, his head hit the back of his chair and he knew no more.

Severide didn't see Truck 66 collide into Truck 81, he just saw the aftermath. He saw Casey's rig flip down onto its left side, he heard the horrible crunching sound of metal as it did. _Oh God, Casey..._ were his only thoughts until Tony brought him back to the present so he could radio headquarters. "Mayday! Mayday! This is Squad 3 to main; Truck 81, Truck 66 have collided on the corner of 24th and Wabash. We're going to need ambulances; as many as you can get! This is bad!"

Shay and Dawson had overheard Severide on the radio. "61 to main; we're closer to the accident than the fire. Do you want us to take the accident?" Shay spoke urgently into the radio, already worried about the state they would find Truck 81 in. Severide had let his panic emit through the radio; something he rarely did and it worried her.

"Should we keep driving?" Dawson questioned.

Shay never had time to reply as the radio buzzed into life. _"Affirmative 61; take the accident."_ As soon as the transmission was over Shay quickly spun the ambulance around.

Severide jumped out of the rig and called into his radio, "Confirming that Truck 81 and 66 are out of action. Requesting that Squad 3 stay. Please reassign other units to structure fire." He continued to survey the scene, becoming more and more worried that there was no movement from 81, headquarters confirmed Severide's decision to stay and he gave his crew orders. He went over to 81 with Newhouse and climbed up to the passenger door. He found Casey slumped in his seat; his heart sank as he feared the worst but Casey moved, he started struggling.

"Casey? Buddy? You all right?" he called down.

"Mmm…" Casey muttered in response, he was conscious at least. "Cruz?" And aware. "Cruz you ok?"

"Case, are _you_ ok?" Severide repeated his earlier question. Casey was probably in shock, his attention waning, but of course he was more concerned about everyone else, very typical of him.

"Cruz…" Casey looked around. "Cruz and Mouch are hurt…"

"So are you," he responded, "Come on, let's get you all out of here."

Newhouse had already helped Otis and Herrmann out and had made his way into the truck to check on an unconscious Mouch. Cruz was conscious but in shock.

Severide helped Casey out, there were lacerations over his face and neck from the broken windscreen, he was gritting his teeth and holding his chest, Severide still held onto him. "Matt?"

"I'm all right," he nodded.

Severide looked doubtfully at him.

"Think I've just bruised my ribs, maybe broken them, I can still help," he insisted.

"No, you need to…"

"I'm not going in the first ambo; I'm conscious, walking, I'm all right," Casey asserted a little breathlessly

Reluctantly Severide nodded. "Ok, fine, but you can explain to your wife why you were still trying to help everyone when you needed to get medical attention."

Casey could already picture Hallie giving him stern words when he explained what had happened, and now that he was standing the pain in his side had only increased, he could feel the blood rush from his face, he felt faint, weak and dizzy all of a sudden.

"Matt?" Severide questioned urgently at his sudden change in demeanour, and the short sharp moan that then left his lips caused Severide's heart to race.

He lurched forwards when the pain in his side became unbearable.

Severide caught his shoulders. "Matt, talk to me," he insisted as he looked around to see the driver of Truck 66 being loaded into Ambulance 61, but he could already hear the sirens of another ambulance arriving. Mouch, Cruz and another crew member from 66 could wait for another ambulance. Casey was now a priority. "Matty?"

"Hurts…"

"I know, buddy, just stay with me," Severide stated, Casey was sagging in his arms now. "Mills, get me a backboard!"

Severide rode in the back of the ambulance with Casey who was surprisingly still conscious, he was too stubborn for his own good and every bump and jolt of the vehicle made him wince in pain.

Broken ribs were all the paramedics had mentioned before hooking Casey up to an IV and shooting him full of painkillers that made the world a slightly more comfortable place. Just broken ribs? Severide doubted it, Casey wouldn't utter the word 'hurts' over some simple broken ribs. He looked down at his friends pale face, a sheen of sweat evident, and gripped his hand in comfort.

"Kelly!" Hallie called as she rushed into the ER waiting room. "What the hell happened? The truck crashed?! Where is he?"

Severide was pacing up and down, he had called Hallie as soon as they had arrived in the ER. "I don't know, they won't tell me anything…"

"Right, yeah, of course," she rushed off, leaving Severide still pacing up and down.

"Kendra where's Matt?" she questioned as she approached her colleague by one of the trauma bays.

"They've just taken him to pre-op, there's a laceration on his spleen, he has three broken ribs, two were displaced, he was conscious when they took him up but they're worried about it rupturing," Kendra briefed her before she disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

Hallie found Casey lying on his back in the pre-op room hooked up to an IV, ABG, heart monitor and catheter, his eyes were half lidded, bruises had already formed on his face and arms from the accident. He was dressed in a pale blue hospital gown that she had no doubt he would start moaning about when he was lucid, and swathed in a thin white sheet which would do very little to keep him warm in the operating theatre.

"Hey, baby," she greeted him softly as she approached his bed, unaware how coherent he was.

"Sorry…" he murmured almost inaudibly, although she was glad he'd moved his head slightly at the sound of her voice.

"Sorry?" she repeated.

"It's your day off and you've still ended up in the hospital," he replied with a slur.

She smiled down at him whilst she eyed the monitors. "You're ok," she stated, to reassure both herself and him.

"D'you know if everyone else is ok?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know but I will check; I'm sure everyone will be all right," she replied, gripping his arm in support.

"My spleen…" Casey muttered worriedly.

"I know," she nodded in recognition of the consequences it could do to his career. "They're going to repair it," she tried to assure him again.

Casey frowned. "The truck crashed… how…"

"I know, it's ok, don't worry about it now…" she trailed off. "Matt?" Casey had paled and his eyes had glazed over. "Matt, speak to me." But the monitors blared. Quickly she called over to the team prepping him for surgery as she opened up his gown and felt his abdomen. "Oh God…" she muttered. "His spleen's ruptured!" she called out.

Casey was whisked off to the operating room once the doctors had stabilised his blood pressure.

"You have to try and save his spleen," Hallie spoke to the surgeon as she hurried alongside Casey's gurney. "He can't do…"

"We know, Hallie," the doctor replied solemnly. "And I will try my best, you know I will."

Hallie was stopped outside the operating room, a nurse had placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Oh, right," she nodded, "Waiting room." She gave Casey's hand one last comforting squeeze before he was wheeled in and then she left him.

"Hallie?" Severide stood up from his seat in the ER waiting room as she walked over to him.

"He's just gone into surgery, his spleen was lacerated by the displaced ribs…"

"He'll be ok?" he questioned before she could finish.

She let out a long breath. "Kelly… his spleen ruptured when he was in pre-op."

"Oh God…" he ran a hand through his hair.

"They'll try their best to save it," she stated.

"Whatever happens to it he'll live, right?" he questioned.

"Erm…" she stumbled over her words, the reality of her husband's situation sinking in. "Surgery is always risky but surgery on the spleen is routine, they know what they're doing, we just have to wait."

When the rest of Truck 81 and Squad 3 arrived in the ER they moved up to the waiting room on the OR floor. Mouch and Cruz had been checked out and neither needed admitting to the hospital. The driver of 66 had a badly broken leg and a severe concussion but it looked as though everyone else had escaped unscathed.

There were officers from headquarters and police officers taking statements from everyone as they waited around. Severide started to pace around anxiously as time wore on, he almost missed his phone ringing as he was so engrossed in his own thoughts.

 _"Hey, how is he?"_ it was Shay on the phone. Boden had called in for replacement crews for both Truck and Squad, their heads wouldn't be in it for the rest of their shift so it was the safest option, but he kept Dawson and Shay on 61.

"He's in surgery, they're repairing his spleen, that's all I know… it's bad, Shay…"

Concerned she asked, _"How's Hallie holding up?"_

"She's not," he replied, "She's not said anything since she told me he was in surgery."

 _"I assume you're a wreck as well,"_ she commented.

"I'm fine because he's going to be ok," he nodded, "He's going to be ok."

_"Let me know if there's anything I can do, ok? And let me know when he's out of surgery."_

The waiting room was crowded, only Hallie and Severide noticed the doctor arrive, she stood up and went straight over to him, telling Severide to wait.

"You're holding more consent forms?" she questioned when she saw the clipboard in the doctors hand.

The doctor nodded.

"You can't save the spleen?" she asked, she'd been dreading this, Casey would be distraught.

He shook his head. "No, we have managed to save half of it."

Hallie wanted to let out a breath of relief but she held back. "What are the consent forms for?"

The doctor looked forlornly at her, he couldn't sugar coat this, she was a fellow doctor after all, she knew what he was talking about. "When we were checking for any damage done to any other organs we found a mass…"

"Where?" she questioned immediately, her eyes wide with apprehension.

"On his pancreas," he replied.

"And you want to remove it? Or just biopsy it?" she asked, glancing once again at the clipboard.

"Remove it," he stated, "It may save putting him through a second surgery if the biopsy suggests we need to remove it anyway."

"Has he been stable throughout the surgery so far?" The doctor nodded. "Ok, I'll sign the forms; remove it."


	2. The C Word

"Hallie?" Severide walked up to her when the doctor left.

"He's doing well," she stated, although it didn't feel like she was stood there, she felt detached from her body, she could hear her heart pounding but she couldn't feel it just like she couldn't feel Severide's hand on her arm.

"He's still in there?" he questioned with concern.

She nodded. "I need to get some fresh air."

* * *

Shay was following Dawson out of the ER when she spotted Hallie standing outside. "Start cleaning up the rig," she requested, she'd already begun to walk over to Casey's wife. "I'll be there in a minute."

Hallie barely noticed the new presence beside her until she was brought into a hug. "He's still in surgery," she said numbly when Shay broke the embrace.

"You know as well as I do he's too stubborn not to make it," Shay reassured her. "Let's go back inside, I'll get you some coffee."

* * *

It was nearly 9pm when Casey's surgery ended and the doctor came out to the waiting room drawing everyone's attention, the majority of both Truck 81 and Squad 3 were still there waiting for news.

The doctor and Hallie exchange glances and she felt relieved at the smile on his lips, she nodded inconspicuously giving permission for him to announce the good news. "The surgery went well, he's in post-op at the moment, he's going to be really groggy for a while but so far everything looks good."

"He'll make a full recovery?" Cruz questioned, he'd been feeling guilty about the crash since he'd realised what had happened. He was certain they had the light, but they were waiting for traffic camera footage to prove it, although he wasn't sure that evidence showing that he was right would make him feel any better. Casey had still been seriously injured and he had been driving.

After a quick look towards Hallie he replied, "He still had a long way to go but we are very hopeful."

The doctor left and Hallie announced, "You should all go home, get some rest, I'll stay with Matt and I'll let him know you were all here for him; he'll appreciate it."  
  
Slowly everyone began to get up and leave, a few commenting to Hallie as they passed. Severide remained.  
  
"Kelly, go home, get some sleep, come back in the morning, I'll call you if anything changes," she told him.

"I can't… I can't leave." He couldn't get the sound of Casey's voice out of his head when he'd moaned in pain. "I need to see him, I need to make sure he's ok with my own eyes."

She nodded, tears were threatening fall as they had been since she had last seen her husband, "I know."

* * *

Hallie was sitting by Casey's side, Severide had finally agreed to go home and get some rest after seeing his best friend lying still in the hospital bed surrounded by monitors, the staff in the post-op room continued to check on Casey but said little to Hallie as she remained staring at her husband's chest, watching it rise and fall, as if she looked away he would stop breathing.

* * *

Casey woke up slowly, his eyelids felt incredibly heavy as he opened them, and as soon as he managed to he was assaulted by a bright light so he let them close again. He swallowed, his throat was tender and sore. Slowly he moved his fingers but he could barely feel anything so he decided he was going to have to open his eyes once more. This time he was a little more prepared for the onslaught of light that greeted him, and through half lidded eyes he realised Hallie was asleep on a chair by his side.

He tried to speak but it took a few attempts for any sound to emit. "Hallie…" His voice sounded odd, strained and quiet, but nevertheless she woke up, her eyes wide, her smile even wider but he was already struggling to keep his own eyes open.

"Matt, baby." She beamed as she sat up, she moved closer to the head of the bed. "Hey."

"Hey..." he repeated lightly, a smile on his lips.

She ran a hand through his hair, kissed his forehead, she was only millimetres away from his face when she asked, "Are you in any pain?"

"Mmm…" His brain seemed to be working overtime to comprehend the world around him. "Don't think so…" he frowned.

"You don't think so?"

"Kinda achy…" he tried to explained.

"I'm not surprised," she commented and from the corner of her eye she noticed the on-call doctor approach.

The frown remained on Casey's face. "The truck crashed?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Do you know where you are?"

"Hospital..." it was barely more than a whisper and he'd let his eyes slip closed.

"Just rest baby, I'll be here when you wake up," she advised gently.

"Everyone's ok?"

"Yes. Now go to sleep."

* * *

Hallie was dozing by Casey's bedside when his surgeon came up to check on him, she woke up at the sound of his footsteps. "Dr Harrison is gonna cover your shift tomorrow," he stated as he inspected the incision site, Hallie noted how the vivid seatbelt shaped bruise was now a stark contrast to the paleness of his chest.

She frowned. "That cold hearted bastard?"

"Apparently not so cold hearted," he smiled. "I'll sit here with him if you want a little break? Or I could get you some coffee?" he asked. He began to fasten Casey's gown back up but Hallie took over and pulled the blanket back up as well; Matt hated to be cold.

"Coffee would be great, thanks."

"Try not to worry too much." He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll stop worrying too much if the biopsy comes negative," she stated.

"I've rushed it but the earliest you'll get the results is tomorrow," he replied.

"I know," she replied sadly. She was grateful they were being rushed, although she'd never tell Matt that they were giving him preferential treatment, but she was dreading the results.

"Dr Adams…" he began.

"From Oncology?" she remained focused on Casey's chest.

"Yeah," he nodded, "He'll be by with the results when they get them. He's a good doctor. I'll go and get you that coffee."

* * *

It was early in the morning the next time Casey woke, much more lucid this time, Hallie was looking down at him, empty coffee cup in her hand. "Hey baby," she smiled but now he was more coherent it seemed forced.

"You've got your... serious face on…" he slurred as he looked up at her through tired eyes. "What's... wrong? They took it out... didn't they? Removed it? It was too damaged… I can't…" The heart monitor began to race.

"No, no," she replied quickly trying to stem his panic. "They managed to save most it and there's no more bleeding, and there's no signs of infection so far."

The heart monitor was still racing. "What's wrong then?" he looked up with big watery blue eyes, she couldn't keep this from him, he was going to have to find out eventually anyway.

She swallowed, bracing herself for the reveal. "When they were operating they found a mass on your pancreas, they came out and informed me and I gave them permission to remove it," she spoke clearly and precisely and watched her husband's face at the words sunk in.

"A mass?" his voice cracked.

"A tumour," she clarified.

"On my pancreas... as in... like cancer?" He was no longer looking at her but instead looking up at the white ceiling tiles.

She let out a steadying breath. "They won't know until the biopsy results come back. It might be benign, Matt."

Quietly he questioned, "But it might not be?"

"Whatever it is, it's been caught early, you've shown absolutely no symptoms, I would have noticed, you would have noticed," she tried to reassure him.

"What if... we didn't notice?" The tears that had been threatening to fall since the start of their conversation began to trickle gently down his face, he couldn't stop them, too tired, too sore and too drugged.

"Baby, it's going to be ok." She placed a hand on his forehead and made to kiss him.

"Sorry," he turned his head stopping the kiss before it even started.

"You've just had major surgery you're allowed to let yourself get emotional." Even now she knew he still hated to open up, to let his emotions out, it still took him time to talk to her but he always would in the end. It used to upset her, she used to think he didn't trust her but she understood him, she understood that it was because he was afraid, afraid of the emotions he held inside, the fear, the anger, the sadness, he didn't want to let one slip for fear of a cascade being released.

He sniffled and turned back. "No one knows?"

"No one," she replied, trying to ignore the tear tracks on his face.

"Can we keep it that way?" he requested softly.

"Of course we can," she smiled thinly.

"And I don't want to see anyone," he stated with a slur, he was slowly losing his grip on consciousness again but he didn't want to sleep, not now they were waiting for what could be life threatening news.

"Kelly?" she questioned, frowning, even in the middle of any disagreements he didn't refuse to see his best friend because deep down, no matter what the argument, they would be there for each other.

"I don't want to tell him," he said almost silently.

"That doesn't mean you can't see him, he's your best friend," she stated gently.

"He'll know. If he sees me he'll know something's wrong."

* * *

Casey was moved to a private room when there were no signs of any post-operative complications. Hallie hadn't left his side, he was still waking up with varying degrees of lucidity but Hallie wasn't surprised with the amount of painkillers that were flowing through his system.

Hallie had informed Severide, who in turn would inform everyone else that Casey had woken and was doing well, she also explained that he wasn't feeling up for any visitors but promised to let him know when he was able to have them come by.

"Hals?"

"Are you ok? Are you in pain?" she asked quickly when she saw his eyes flutter open.

"M'ok," he slurred, "Thirsty."

"Here." She held a straw to his lips and he drank copiously, she had to stop him. "Not too much at once. Your throat's still sore?"

"Mmm..."

"It'll feel better in a few days," she assured him. "Do you want to sit up a little? See your home from home?" she smiled. "I can put the TV on if you want?" she asked as she adjusted the bed and re-straightened his blankets and pillows so that he was comfortable and warm.

"You should go," he stated.

"I'm happy staying," she replied honestly.

"You should go home, get some proper rest, eat, shower, change…"

"I'm fine right here by your side…" she frowned, "You want some privacy?"

"Want you to get some decent sleep, don't want to keep you up, I don't want you to worry, I am ok."

She wanted to tell that she was going to worried whether she was here or at home but she knew how he hated fuss, hated people worrying over him, hated feeling like he was an inconvenience, a burden, so she found herself forcing a smile for what felt like the thousandth time in the last twenty-four hours. "Ok, I'll go home as long as you promise me you'll ask for painkillers when you're in pain, and I don't mean when you're in agony, I mean when there's the slightest bit of pain, ok?"

"I promise," he replied with a genuine smiled as she leant over a kissed him.

* * *

Hallie went home as promised but she couldn't rest, she didn't even try, instead she gathered a few items of clothing from Casey's side of the wardrobe and deposited them in a large bag along with some books, DVDs, a throw and she even managed to stuff a few pillows into the bag although she did have to sit on it to get the zip closed.

She wanted to go straight back to the hospital but she forced herself to stay at home; she cleaned the kitchen, changed the sheets on the bed and did two loads of washing in an attempt to distract herself and give Matt the privacy he'd requested.

* * *

Casey was exhausted, his body was heavy and lethargic, he could barely move his arm to get himself a drink of water but he didn't seem to be able to quench his thirst no matter how much he drank anyway. He tried to distract himself from his thoughts, he felt sick and he wasn't sure if the cause was physical or emotional, probably both.

He refused to get up when a nurse came into his room to assist him, he knew he needed to but he was in pain and he didn't want to be struggling in front of people he didn't know, he asked her to come back later, later when hopefully Hallie would be back with him. He regretted asking her to leave but she needed some decent rest, he only hoped that she had get some.

He was lying deadly still in his bed deep in his own troubled thoughts when Hallie did return, she gripped his hand and knew immediately that he'd had little rest in the few hours she had been gone, she ran her hand through his hair, neither said a word and eventually he fell to sleep.

* * *

When Casey woke he discovered the room had been altered, a throw from home was draped over him rather than the place blue hospital issue blanket that scratched his skin. He immediately realise that his own pillow was sat snuggly below his head, he smiled. "Thank you," his voice was quiet having been unused for some time.

"You need to get up, Matt," Hallie spoke firmly.

"No," he let his eyes closed.

"Come on baby, you just need to stand up and walk a little," she insisted.

"Hurts," he murmured.

"Hurts?" she frowned, "What did I say about painkillers?"

"I've had some," he replied quietly.

"Well, I'm going to get you some more because you need to get up." She left swiftly and came back with a nurse to administer another dose of narcotics.

* * *

Late in the afternoon Casey sat gazing through the blinds into the corridor, he wished someone would close them again, he felt exposed and vulnerable lying there for all to see him through the open slats.

Hallie had been paged away less than ten minutes ago but she was already walking back into his room, followed by an older doctor, a tall man with a plaid shirt underneath his lab coat.

Casey glanced at Hallie and his heart dropped. "It's cancer," he breathed.

Hallie just nodded, her eyes still locked onto his.

"Matt," the older doctor began, "I'm Doctor Adams..." But Casey could barely hear him, everything sounded fuzzy and distant except for the sound of his own heartbeat hammering in his chest. "The biopsy has come back positive for cancer markers. I don't say this too often but in a way you're lucky that this was caught early; this type of cancer isn't symptomatic until the late stages when there's not much we can do. Now, the surgeon removed the whole tumour and couldn't see any other masses, but we're going to do some tests, get some more scans, check for…"

"It might be somewhere else?" he questioned, his voice only just above the sound of a whisper.

"It may have spread, but like I said we've caught this really early, I am hopeful that the tumour on your pancreas was it," Doctor Adams replied.

"This isn't awful news, Matt; it's not great but…" Hallie began and he wondered how long she had been by his side holding his hand.

"But it could be worse," he nodded. "Ok… So what happens now? More tests?" He'd hardly taken in a word of what Doctor Adams had been saying.

"I'm going to examine your lymph nodes now and you're scheduled for some scans and tests throughout tomorrow."

* * *

Casey had said very little since the oncologist had left them, Hallie was still by his side, currently trying to get him to eat some dinner. "I can go down to the cafeteria if you want something else?"

"I can't," he responded.

"You should be eating just a little, it'll help you feel better," she explained.

"I feel sick," he admitted.

"I'll go and get you some… Oh…" she stopped in realisation.

"I have cancer," he spoke quietly.

"No," she shook her head, "You might not, the tumour might have been it and that's gone. The chances of it being somewhere else at this stage are slim."

"I'm not that lucky," he muttered absent minded.

"What?"

"If that truck hadn't crashed into us we wouldn't have found out until it was too late. That was lucky but that just being it…." he frowned, shook his head, "I can't be that lucky… it'll be somewhere else."


	3. Apple Juice

Hallie spent the night in her husband's room, no one questioned her, she knew how disorientated he would feel without her there and honestly she didn't want him to be alone after the news he'd received. As predicted he was trying his best to mask his feelings but the narcotics that flowed through his battered body made it a much tougher job the keep them under lock and key. She had wanted to curl up next to him, to comfort him, hold him and tell him everything would be ok, but they both knew that might not be the case and she knew his injuries would make it uncomfortable for her to lie by his side for some time.

"Morning baby," she greeted gently when his eyes fluttered open momentarily.

"Hey…" he slurred as his eyes closed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she approached the bed.

"Sore." He opened his eyes once again and Hallie helped him take a few sips of water.

"You feel up to having something for breakfast?"  
  
But her question went unanswered. "So, what's happening? What are they doing today?"

She let out a breath and replied, "A nurse is going to take some blood this morning, a few vials, but that's nothing to worry about. You're scheduled for a full body scan at 10am and an LP at 4pm and I'll be with you for everything." 

"You don't need to be here, aren't you supposed to be working?" 

"I promise I will go back to work tomorrow but today I'm all yours," she smiled down at him, running a hand through his blond hair.

"Have you got my phone?" he asked, there was someone he decided he needed to talk to, he couldn't leave him out of the loop, it wouldn't be fair, not after everything they'd been through together.

"The batteries died, I forgot to bring the charger," she replied.

"I don't know Sev's new number," he muttered.

She smiled. "I have it in mine but you don't need it. Kelly's outside, has been for an hour. I'll go and get him."

* * *

"I hope you don't feel as awful as you look." Severide smirked as he walked into the room, Casey really did look awful, the vivid seat belt bruise was poking out at the top of his hospital gown and the cuts on his face and neck stood out prominently on his pale skin, his eyes were red rimmed and the skin around dark as if he'd barely slept, and he only looked half awake.

"Sorry I didn't want to see you or anyone yesterday," he said quietly as Severide took a seat on the stool at his bedside.

"You're forgiven," Severide teased.

"So… erm… I might have cancer," he blurted it out, he couldn't be dealing with any long winded explanation/ "Well, actually I do have cancer." After a few moments of silence he spoke again, "Kelly, say something."

"But… but you had surgery for…"

"They found a tumour," he explained, now that he was talking about it everything felt undeniably real, "The biopsy came back yesterday."

"They can just remove it, right?" Severide questioned.

"They did," he replied.

"So it's gone or… they think it might be somewhere else?" Severide's heart sank.

He nodded. "They're doing loads of test today."

"Ok, well, if it has spread then you'll beat it, they'll remove it and you'll fight it and you're going to be ok," Severide stated, trying to reassure both himself and his best friend.

"You sound very sure," he scoffed.

"When am I not right, Case? Ok, wait… don't answer that," he smirked, "So you're having tests done today? I'm with you for the whole time; I'm not leaving this room."

Casey smiled appreciatively. "Thanks man, but don't worry about it, it's your day off; have fun."

"We can't have fun in here?" Severide grinned.

"Whilst they're prodding and poking at me?" he laughed but he thought he would break down any moment, he felt like he was barely holding it together.

"Is there anything you need? Want?" Severide asked.

"Do you know if Cruz got cleared?"

Severide nodded. "81 had the light. Bet that bastard Welch…"

"If they'd not crashed into us that tumour would have killed me, they wouldn't have found it until it was too late," he replied.

Severide shook his head. "You and your nine lives."

"I'm not telling anyone, I can't, not yet… maybe... maybe let Shay know? Although Hallie may have told her… those two seem to be in cahoots," he smiled.

"You know you'll only get support if you…" Severide began.

"I don't want it, don't need it."

Severide remained with Casey whilst the nurse came and took some blood, he then insisted that Casey eat a little something before Hallie returned with a wheelchair to take him for his full body scan.

* * *

Hallie stayed by his side as he carefully stood up from the chair and lay down ready for the CT scan. "Don't worry if you fall asleep," she smiled down at him. "It won't take too long. It'll be ok," she assured him as she pulled a blanket up over his body.

"It'll be ok? They're checking for cancer," he said worriedly, it broke Hallie's heart; she knew full well that if he wasn't so dependent on the painkillers to ease his body he wouldn't have said a word, he would have been his usual stoic self.

"I love you," she kissed him and left for the waiting room.

* * *

Severide sat with Casey who was half asleep, they had the TV on but neither were paying it much attention when Hallie walked in wearing a long coat.

"Case," Severide gently touched his arm, "I'm gonna head off, I'll see ya later."

"Mmm…" he acknowledged his best friend leave and opened his eyes to see Hallie stood in front of the bed, she had closed the blinds and shut the door behind Severide.

Seductively she took off her coat to reveal a very tight and revealing nurses costume. As she edged closer to him she began very seriously. "I hear you've been a very naughty…" she laughed, "Sorry Matt, I can't take myself seriously in this… I was never very good at drama…"

A smile spread across Casey's lips, his half lidded eyes were now open and he was wide awake, he smirked. "You're a very naughty nurse and I have been an exceptionally well behaved patient," his voice was a little strained and quieter than usual from its lack of use.

"You think you deserve a sexy sponge bath then?"

The smirk remained on his face, "I have been very good."

* * *

A few hours later Casey was gripping Hallie's hand tightly as the doctor did the spinal tap, just the act of lying on his side hurt but it was a necessary procedure to rule out any cancer in his brain or spine.

Casey's eyes were scrunched closed as Hallie whispered, "It'll be over in a second I promise."

The doctor looked down at them. "Got it."

"See all done, baby," she smiled down at him.

"I am ok," he stated, his eyes watery as he opened them.

"I know you are."

* * *

Casey forewent dinner, Hallie had persuaded him to have a few bites her sandwich but he could barely stomach it, he couldn't get rid of the anxiety that plagued his body, it felt a little like adrenaline was pulsing through his veins and it never settled, it made him feel physically sick.

"Your pager?" he questioned when he heard it go off for the second time in the space of a few minutes, they were in his room watching an old movie on the TV that seemed to have a very temperamental sound system.

"It's all right, I'm not on call," she replied.

"But they want you?"

She picked it up and glanced at it. "There's been a multi car pileup, the ER's busy, they can handle it," she assured him.

"It's ok, go help out, I'm perfectly fine on my own, I'm exhausted anyway, doubt I can pay much more attention to the movie," he replied, he'd been feeling dizzy for the last half an hour and had put it down to tiredness and the stress of the day; he'd not been awake for so long since before the crash.

"Ok baby," she leant down and kissed his forehead, "Get some rest then."

* * *

He had no concept of time once the TV had been turned off by Hallie as she'd left his room. Carefully he got up and used the bathroom, he felt jittery and dizzy as he made the short trip there and back holding onto the monitoring equipment for support.

Back in the bed he felt no better.

Waves of dizziness attacked him.

His body was trembling.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

He could hear the heart monitor whirling.

He tried to reach the nurses call button with his trembling hand but fell short of the panel.

* * *

"What happened? He was fine when I left him." She rushed up from the ER when she'd been informed that Matt had slipped into a hypoglycaemic coma.

"Hallie, he's ok now," the doctor who had been on call on the ward informed her.

"What happened?" she questioned.

"His pancreas isn't converting glucose to energy," he replied.

"Because of the surgery?"

He nodded. "We…"

"How did we miss this before, he's had so many blood tests," she shook her head.

"Because they were looking for cancer, no one did C-peptide test until now," he explained calmly.

"Do you think this is permanent?" Post-operative diabetes would put an end to her husband's career.

"At this stage we don't know anything for sure; his pancreas was damaged from the removal of the tumour but…"

"But it could just be in shock? And it should repair itself as he recovers, I've seen his recent scans, they look all right," she replied.

"They do, so I am hopefully it's temporary but we'll see as time goes on."

"We're not going to tell him," she stated affirmatively as she looked into her husband's hospital room, there was a nurse adjusting the bed covers, she wanted to go in and do it herself, to do it the way he liked.

"Hallie?"

"We'll tell him the damage, but we're not going to use the word diabetic," she explained.

"What? You can't just…"

"He can't be a firefighter if he has diabetes and this should repair itself. If there's more cancer he needs something to fight for, not just me."

* * *

"Matt, can you open your eyes for me?" Hallie tried to rouse him, he'd quickly slipped into a coma whilst the staff were working on him earlier and he'd only woken up once since, they'd performed a quick neurological check before letting him sleep.

"Hals?"

She smiled at the sound of his voice. "Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

"What happened?" he slurred.

"Your blood sugar went really low, but you're getting some glucose now, you'll feel better soon I promise," she explained as simply as possible, she didn't want to distress him.

"What's wrong?" he questioned.

"It's just because of the surgery, nothing to worry about at the moment."

* * *

"Morning Matt," the nurse greeted him the next day.

He was still groggy, he squinted as she opened the curtains but looked around the room. "Where's Hallie?"

"She's working," she replied.

"Good," he slurred. "Least one of us is getting back to normal. It's Thursday right?" he questioned, spending most of his time in and out consciousness and full of narcotics made for a disorientating hospital stay. If he as right and it was Thursday it meant Severide would be on shift as well, and it meant he'd been here for three days although it felt like much longer.

"It is," she smiled. She made a few notes in his chart and proceeded to check the incision site, he looked down miserably at the sight of his chest. "The scar will fade with time, and it won't look so bad when the staples are out."

He sighed. "More tests today?"

"Just the blood sugar tests," she replied.

"Oh yeah," he remembered, "Hallie tried to explain…"

"Matt?" she questioned when he faltered.

"Don't feel so good…" The dizziness he'd felt when he woke was still increasing and his heart was hammering in his chest.

He felt a sharp pin prick on his finger and then a carton of apple juice was placed in his hand. "Here drink this, you'll feel better."

He looked doubtfully at her but drank nevertheless, it took a while but eventually he felt much less dizzy, much less queasy. "Thanks," he muttered.

"Your doctor and Hallie have given me orders to make sure you get up and about today, you need to walk to the elevator and back a few times throughout the day," she informed him.

"Maybe tomorrow," he said miserably, "Can I have some privacy please."

"Matt, for the sake of your health you need to get up," she stated.

"I might be dying and you all want me to walk to the end of the corridor and back as if it's some kind of achievement," he scoffed.

"If I don't see you out in that corridor by lunchtime I'll be telling your wife," she smiled at the look across his face at the threat.

* * *

"Shay?" Casey woke up blearily to find her sat by his bed later that morning.

"Hey sleepyhead," she grinned, "I hear you're being a very uncooperative patient."

"Don't know what you're talking about," he smiled sleepily.

"You can wipe that mischievous look from across your face, Matthew Casey." She unfastened her jacket, leant over him, her low cut top hiding very little, as she unhooked him from some of the monitors and pulled back the bed covers. "I'm here until we get another call."

He frowned. "That's not standard issue uniform."

"We figured you needed a distraction, something to keep your attention, because you need to get up and walk further than the bathroom and back," she replied.

"That naughty nurse costume your idea then?" he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Shay smiled, "You two had fun yesterday then?"

"Can't say I've ever had such a nice sponge bath before," he grinned tiredly.

"Right up and at 'em Mr Big Brave Firefighter, or do you think a trip down to the elevator and back is beneath your skills?"


	4. Complications

"Matt?" Someone was rubbing his chest. "Matt, baby, open your eyes for me, you're gonna want to hear this," it was Hallie.

He groaned and sleepily opened his eyes and discovered his wife only millimetres from his face. "Hals? You're smiling."

"You'll be smiling too in a moment," she replied.

He frowned, still half asleep, his brain still trying to figure out what she was talking about. "What?"

"The last test results have come back," she was still smiling, "They've all been negative, Matt."

"Negative?" he was still frowning, he couldn't believe what she was saying, he hadn't set himself up for this, he was certain they wouldn't be negative.

"Negative."

"I'm not sick?" he questioned.

"You're not sick," she beamed. "Do you think we should wake Kelly up and tell him?"

He frowned then followed her eyes over to the side where Severide was sprawled fast asleep in an armchair.

Hallie sat down on the stool by his bed as Severide woke up slowly. "The cancer didn't metastasise," Hallie smiled.

"What?" Severide frowned, still half asleep, just like Casey had been.

"There is no more cancer," he stated.

"The tumour was it?" Casey nodded. Severide stood up and hugged him before stepping back and stating, "I told you you'd be ok."

He smiled and looked over to Hallie. "Hey, does this mean I can go home?"

"Go home? Matt baby..." Hallie let a little laugh, "You had major surgery four days ago!"

"I know, I just thought you'd be in a good mood and let me go," he smiled.

"Ha... try your luck in a few more days and besides I'm not allowed to discharge you; it's not me you need to sweet talk."

"You two are just as adorable as the day you met." Severide stood up, "I'm gonna head home before you two start making out. I'll be by tomorrow, Case."

"There's something you're not telling me, I know I'm still not really with it most of the time but what happened yesterday was different, I thought I was going to…" he paused, he didn't want to sound dramatic. "I thought it was because I was sick but I'm not. It's something else?"

"I didn't want to worry you on top of everything else," she responded.

"You know I can handle it," he smiled.

"I know," she nodded, "But… but I'm not sure I can handle it… I don't want to see the devastated look on your face when I tell you…"

"Hals you're scaring me now," he stated.

"… When I tell you that it looks like your pancreas hasn't taken too kindly to the surgery… it's a sensitive organ and… and it's… yours is in shock… I mean your whole body went through hell really…"

"Hals?" he urged.

"Yesterday you slipped into a hypoglycaemic coma whilst the doctor tried to treat you," she explained, her voice steady now, she needed to be stronger for him, she needed to be able to talk everything through with him. "Your blood glucose levels were too low. They did another blood test afterwards to test for... your pancreas isn't breaking down glucose and converting it energy."

"That's diabetes?" he questioned.

"You have a damaged pancreas that will hopefully repair itself as you recover," she replied.

"Ok," he nodded numbly.

"Ok?" she repeated, she hadn't expected him to take the news so lightly.

"It's manageable isn't it? It's not going to kill me?" he questioned, he tried and failed to stop his voice from cracking, "I don't think I can work in the field with it… but I guess… I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it?" She was more than a little shocked at how well he was taking the information that she had desperately wanted to shield him from until they knew for definite.

He shrugged. "I guess."

"We've got at least two months before your doctor will consider signing you of for work, by then we'll have a clearer picture of what's going on, whether this is temporary or…"

Suddenly his stomach protested the meal he'd forced down a few hours ago. "Erm… think I might throw up…" Quickly Hallie was holding a basin in front of him rubbing his back gently until he stopped heaving up the acidic contents of his stomach, she wordlessly passed him a drink of water to wash his mouth out with before removing the basin, disposing it in the hazardous waste bin.

"Ok?" she asked with concern when she joined him back on the bed.

"How likely…" he began.

She chose to answer his question and tried to ignore the fact that he'd thrown up at the news she had given him. "We don't know. Normally this type post-operative complication is because of resection but in your case they didn't need to remove any part of the organ."

"So it's just damaged and in shock? And no one really knows if it will heal?" He watched her nod in agreement to what he was saying, he sighed. "Can we maybe get some fresh air?"

"Of course," she stood up, "I'll go and get a chair."

"Oh… no… I didn't think…"

"You can walk but I'll be bringing it along just in case, that sound all right?" She left the room and Casey sat on his bed feeling as though the whole world was tumbling down on his shoulders, he felt acutely aware of the sound of the tap dripping in the bathroom, the sound of the nurse typing at the station outside his room, the sound of the monitors beeping away.

"So I got you the coolest looking..." Hallie stopped as soon as entered the room, "Matt?" He was sitting on the bed trying desperately to stop the tears from flowing down his face. "Baby it's ok, it's ok going to be ok," she quickly joined him on the bed and wrapped her arms around his quivering shoulders, "I'm here, it's ok, you're allowed to cry, just let it all out, I've got you…"

"I can't do this…"

"Shh…" she held him tighter in her arms, pressed her lips against his forehead, "I've got you and… This is shit and you don't deserve it but whatever happens I know you'll be fine, you are the strongest person I know."

Eventually he fell asleep in her arms, she continued her whispered words of encouragement until Shay popped her head through the door about to speak, but when she saw the scene in front of her she stopped herself and remained outside.

Shay waited outside and Hallie eventually joined her. "Kelly told me the good news so I brought cake… What's happened?"

"Just… complications…" she explained. "He'll cope, he always does."

"Is there anything I can do?" Shay asked.

"I need to get back to work," she sighed as she looked into her husband's room, thankfully he was still fast asleep, she had wiped off the tear tracks that had marred his face but she couldn't get the image out of the front her mind.

"I'll sit with him," Shay replied.

"I don't want to work, I want to sit with him and…" Hallie shook her head, "He'll hate that though; he'll hate that everything is paused for him."

"Hallie, I'll sit with him. Go on, the distraction of work will be good for you. Does he need to eat? Get up?" she asked.

"Both if you can but he's…"

"I'm a master at bribery," she teased.

"Thank you for this, you and Kelly," Hallie smiled.

"You don't need to thank us."

Casey woke up blearily an hour later, he pushed himself up from his almost curled up position on the bed, his side was aching and he was grateful for the painkillers, he knew he'd be in a lot more pain from the way he had slept if it weren't for them.

"Hey you," Shay greeted him gently; she passed him a drink of water and set it back down on the table when he'd had enough to quench his thirst and soothe his throat.

"Did I worry her?" he questioned as he looked up at her through tired eyes. "I didn't mean…"

"Matt, she loves you and she will worry about you whether you are hurt or not, ill nor not."

On Sunday, one week since the accident, Severide persuaded Casey to get some fresh air. Casey had been determined to walk all the way but admitted defeat when they reached the front doors of the hospital. It was clear to all who visited him that he had lost weight but even Hallie wasn't too worried, she knew how he hated to be in hospital and she knew that he was still in pain from the surgery, and the anxiousness her husband felt wouldn't be helping his appetite at all. But it didn't stop Severide being worried at the sight of his best friends loose joggers as he'd walked slowly out of his hospital room.

They sat outside in the warm sun although Hallie had insisted that Casey be kept warm and comfortable at all times so Severide followed her instructions and made sure Casey's legs were covered by a thick blanket. "This really isn't necessary," he had protested.

"Do you want your wife to tell us both off?" Severide had counted.

"How was work yesterday?" he asked lightly after they had been sat silently for a while.

"Typical," Severide teased with Casey's usual non-descript response.

Casey just looked over to him and smiled, the cuts were starting to heal nicely, soon there would be no evidence of them at all, and the bruises had begun to fade, where they were bright and vivid they were now dull and yellowing at the edges.

"So, all the guys want to see you…" Severide edged.

He shook his head. "I can't… I want to see them but… I just can't."

"Talk to me, Case," Severide urged.

Casey glanced around the small courtyard, there was a nurse pushing an elderly man over to a bench with a small memorial plaque on it and there was a woman sat smoking, glancing around suspiciously, in her hospital gown. After a few moments he admitted, "I might not be going back to work."

"You've not got cancer. They didn't remove your spleen," Severide stated, wondering where Casey's decision had come from. Casey remained silent, looking anywhere but towards Severide. "Tell me," he pressed.

"The tumour was on my pancreas," Casey said.

Severide nodded, urging him to explain.

"It was damaged when they removed it and it's not repaired yet," he explained simply. "It's... it's not producing insulin... well it does but sometimes it doesn't and sometimes it produces too much... it's being 'sporadic' and well... it's basically failing as an organ right now," he scoffed.

"It's not repaired _yet_ ," Severide repeated, "So it will repair?"

"They're hopeful. That's all they say. They don't know anything for sure," he replied, "It's an unusual case."

"When will they know if it's…" Severide hesitated, he didn't want to use the word, he didn't want to upset him, worry him.

"Permanent?" he shrugged, "They're giving it two months, there's no way I'd be cleared for duty before then anyway… a nurse was with me yesterday showing me how to test my blood sugar and explaining what to… it's all pretty serious… I mean they only found out because I…"

"Because you?" Severide urged.

He sighed before admitting quickly, "I slipped into a coma for nearly six minutes a few days ago."

"What?"

"My blood sugar got really low and I just slipped into a coma… just like that…" he let out a deep breath, "Whatever I eat or drink, it's going to affect…"

"Is that why you're hardly eating?" Severide blurted.

"What? No…" he frowned, "I don't think so…"

"You don't think so?" Severide questioned.

"I… I just wasn't hungry but now… but now when I am it feels like it's going to be so complicated… I just want to go home."

"Well, they're not going to let you go home if you don't take care of yourself no matter how much sweet talk them and look at them with your best puppy dogs eyes," he teased, "Why don't we go back to your room now and look over all the stuff they've given you? Simplify it, and have a none drug addled brain look at it with you?"

Casey smiled. "That's what Hallie suggested."

"Two of us can't be wrong. Come on, let's go."

 


	5. Knitting

"Hey, I got a few more… erm… I got you a few more magazines…" Severide spoke as he walked into the hospital room, surprised at what he'd walked into though. "Erm… Matt? What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Casey questioned incredulously.

"Why are you…"

Casey looked up and put the knitting needles down on his lap. "I've been here for nine days, I'm going…"

"Crazy?

He nodded. "Plus the distraction's good, and at the rate I'm going everyone's going to have very long scarves for Christmas… and matching hats and socks…"

"Since when have you known how to knit?" Severide questioned.

"Claire, the day nurse, showed me how yesterday morning," he explained.

"Yesterday? You're a ridiculously quick learner," Severide commented.

"It's easy once you know how," he replied.

"Should I have brought you wool instead of magazines?" Severide teased, he watched as Casey's smiled faded slowly, keeping up appearances was tiring. "How are you doing?" he asked softly.

"Well I'm not dying which is good," he spoke forcefully, "I'm fine."

"Back to the 'I'm fines' already?"

"I'm not so high on painkillers anymore," he replied.

"Any word on when you'll be out of here?" Severide asked.

He shook his head. "I'm ninety-nine percent certain that Hallie is bribing my doctor to keep me here and... 'out of trouble' would be her words."

Severide eyed the little blood glucose level monitor by his side. "How's it going with the…"

"It's fine," he responded a little too quickly.

* * *

"Milkshake delivery," Shay announced later that day as she walked into Casey's room.

"I didn't…"

"No you didn't but there's this new stand down the block and they are amazing, just got you cookies 'n' cream though, nothing too adventurous," she smiled and handed it to him and took a few sips from her own.

"I erm…"

"Casey, you run into burning buildings, don't tell me you're now scared of drinking something you used to enjoy."

Casey just averted his eyes.

"Look, it's been a while since you had lunch, right? So I bet that your blood sugar is at the low end of normal, you won't need any insulin to counteract it…"

"Shay… don't tell Hallie but…"

"But?" she urged when he hesitated.

"But all of this… it's… it's silly but this is all embarrassing, please don't tell her… It's just… it's not easy but it could be so much worse so I shouldn't complain or moan about it…"

"Casey, you have every right to complain and moan about all sorts but you never do, and if you're telling me that debating whether you should or shouldn't drink this lovely milkshake is you complaining then I think you need to see me when Kelly comes up at 4am and wakes me up from my beauty sleep," she smiled. "Now, do you trust me?"

He put out his hand. "Go on then, I'll have it… you had to get my favourite flavour didn't you?"

* * *

Hallie was sitting at the nurses station down in the ER filling in some patient files when Shay appeared with a beam across her face. "Mission accomplished."

"He drank it?" Hallie smiled.

"All of it." She nodded.

"Thank you," Hallie said appreciatively and drew her attention back to the file in front of her.

"Hallie…"

"Hmm?" She looked up from the file.

"He's worried that he's complaining about all of this?" Shay explained softly.

"He's not uttered a word of complaint…" she sighed. "I wish someone could knock some sense into him," she laughed, "At least it doesn't take him weeks to talk to me now."

"He loves you," Shay told her.

"Which is also his excuse for not wanting to burden me with anything… he's so…"

"So 'Casey'?" Shay grinned.

"A married a masochist, I swear. He has no self-preservation and the ability to get into all sorts of trouble," she laughed.

"I think we can lay part of that blame on Kelly," Shay pointed out.

"They are a… a special pair indeed," Hallie replied.

"Wouldn't change them for the world."

"Definitely not," Hallie chuckled.

Shay was about to leave the conversation there but as she turned away she decided there was something she couldn't let slip, "Hallie… he looks thinner. You see him every day but I haven't seen him for two days…"

"I know," Hallie nodded, "It can be a side effect…"

"But he's not really eating?"

"No," she shook her head, "He's not… I'll be worried about it if his appetite doesn't improve…"

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself. Of course you're already worried about it."

* * *

The cheer that Shay had brought into his room vanished as soon as she left, he glanced at all the items he had collected beside him to keep him entertained but he had no energy to attempt to do anything, his whole chest ached and the staples made his skin feel tight, itchy and uncomfortable, he could barely look at them without feeling sick at thought of lying with his abdomen open on the operating table.

He rarely checked his blood glucose levels despite Hallie and the staff telling him that he really needed to, but he did feel nauseous and exhausted, maybe there was something wrong, maybe his body was warning him that his levels weren't within the normal range.

6.8. Within normal range. He actually felt a little disappointed, he'd hoped for a reason for feeling the way he did, other than the fact that he'd recently had major surgery, that he felt utterly miserable, and the anxiety he had been feeling still persisted.

* * *

"I've finished my shift," Hallie smiled as she entered his room, "Thought we could watch a movie."

"There's nothing on," Casey responded he'd been channel flipping on the TV for the last half an hour.

"Given up with the knitting?"

"I'm tired," he replied, he hadn't been sleeping well now he was off the heavy painkillers.

"I brought the iPad from home, we can watch something on there instead," she said as she pulled it out of her handbag. "Scooch over," she said before joining him on the bed.

Casey looked over to her, she was now nestled along his right hand side, her face millimetres from his own. "I love you, sorry for being so miserable."

"I'd be surprised if you weren't; you've been stuck here for long enough." She was careful not to use the C word, or the D word, she didn't want to bring the subjects up, didn't want to upset him or cause any distress that he'd certainly try to shove down inside him.

* * *

"Lieutenant!" Herrmann greeted enthusiastically as he led the majority of Casey's crew into his hospital room the next day. "Nice to finally see that you're not too seriously maimed," he teased. Hallie had been pleased that it had taken no persuading at all to get her husband to agree to visitors, she was glad the endless badgering from his crew would finally be over and even happier that he was feeling more like himself.

"Ha... you'll have to try harder than a truck crash to get rid of me." Casey grinned. Hallie was keeping a safe distance from him, allowing the others to greet him and gather around but she kept her eye on him at all times, at any sign of him tiring she was going to make an excuse for him to rest.

"You got an epic scar then?" Cruz questioned. "You'll get all the la…" he broke off as he glanced at Hallie in the back of the room.

"Erm... no, not epic." He laughed and as he did felt the pull of the staples that would thankfully soon be removed.

"When are you getting out of here?" Otis piped in.

"Soon hopefully," he replied.

"And you'll be back to work?" Herrmann asked.

"Fed up of my relief already?" he scoffed.

"I'm glad you're ok, Matt," Dawson placed a hand on his shoulder.

He dropped his shoulder, dropping the contact. "Thanks."

"We all are," Severide stated.

Boden stayed behind once Hallie ushered everyone out of the room. Casey was tired now but as the door closed he began, "Doctor says two months, more like a month and a half now, until he should clear me for duty."

"I'm glad to hear it, but take all the time you need, your spot is waiting for you."

* * *

Casey had been in the hospital for two weeks before his staples were finally removed and he was told they would be releasing him the next day, he insisted that Hallie didn't need to change her schedule, that he'd take a cab home, and when Severide discovered this he volunteered his services.

"What's up?" Casey asked Hallie that evening as he picked at the food on his place.

"Nothing," she replied a little too quickly.

"Right…"

"Bet you're looking forward to tomorrow," Hallie spoke.

"You're changing the subject," he responded, still wondering what had put her in a bad mood.

"Are you going to eat that or just shred it into smaller and smaller pieces?" Hallie questioned suddenly, her frustration getting the better of her.

"Sorry..." he mumbled, "I'm just…"

"Just not hungry."

"Sorry..." he uttered again. "Everything will be fine when I'm home."

* * *

"I've come to rescue you," Severide grinned as he entered Casey's hospital room.

Casey's doctor was signing his release forms and going through his aftercare instructions, even though he knew he'd been in very safe hands with Hallie. Casey was given an appointment card with the date of his next check-up.

"Bit hideous, isn't it?" Casey said, looking down at his chest when he took off the hospital gown before slipping on an old top and hoody.

The sight of the scar wasn't what troubled Severide though, it was the sight of his pale skin and ribs that after only two weeks stuck here were so prominent and he wasn't going to ignore it. "Think I need to take you home via a fast food joint."

"I'll be fine in a few weeks," he dismissed. Hallie had already expressed her concern over his weight loss, he didn't need reminding of it now.

* * *

"You don't have to stay, Hallie will be tonight," Casey spoke when it became apparent that Severide would be staying with him now they'd arrived home.

"Thought we could watch some TV, get some snacks…"

"I kinda just want to go to bed," he said as he held onto the back of a dining room chair for support.

"Oh, ok, well…" Severide began trying to think of a plausible excuse to stay.

And quickly Casey realised one reason why Severide was reluctant to leave. "Hallie told you to stay?"

"Yes… and I want to make…"

"Make sure I'm ok? Well, I am, thank you for the ride back but I am honestly fine. I'm going to have something to eat, so you and Hallie can stop hounding me about food, and then I'm going to get into bed because I'm exhausted. Do I have permission to do that?"

Severide smiled. "Call me if you need anything."

* * *

"Are you thirsty?" Hallie asked as she put away the bag of groceries she's bought on her way from work.

"That is why I'm drinking," he replied irritably.

"You've just walked in here and had two glasses of water," she pointed out. "Have you checked your blood sugar?"

"I'm just thirsty," he stated.

"Remember what they told you about…"

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your patients!" he snapped.

"Matt, just…" she tried.

"Leave it, will you!"

"Matt, you're yelling at me," she said calmly, hoping to defuse him, "Sit down, I'll get the monitor." A few moments later and Hallie told him, "You need some insulin, do you want me to sort it or…"

"I can do it."

* * *

Casey had been at home for a week when Shay and Dawson turned up, they'd come by after dropping a patient off at the hospital. He was getting used to his new routine and Hallie was thankful that he hadn't lost any more weight but she did hope he would start to gain some soon, although she understand it was going to be difficult for him for a while, so she wasn't pressing him on the matter just yet.

"Hey guys," he greeted them both, receiving a quick hug from each as they entered the house.

"Still knitting I see," Shay grinned as they followed him into the lounge, "Can we start making requests? I think Kelly needs a stripy sweater."

"You can buy the wool," he stated, "You wouldn't believe how expensive it is."

"Wow... Casey, you _have_ been off work for far too long," she laughed, "I didn't think I'd ever hear you complain about the price of wool."

"Do you guys want a drink?" he asked. "Got a few of my aunts famous brownies left as well."

"So you've been knitting and baking?" Shay questioned. "I am impressed."

He shrugged. "I can't do anything else besides watch TV and read until next week."

"What do you want to…" Casey began, his back facing the two of them now he was standing at the kitchen counter, but he never finished his question.

As soon as Shay heard Dawson cough her eyes widened. "Are you sick?" she questioned immediately.

"No," Dawson replied. "Just have a little bit of a sore throat, I'm fine."

"You shouldn't be working and you shouldn't be here either," Shay stated. "Sorry Casey, we're going to get out of here." She looked towards Dawson, "And you're going to call in a replacement for the rest of shift."

* * *

"Hey..." Casey had walked up behind Hallie in a quiet corner of the ER later that day.

"Hey baby!" She smiled but her happiness was quickly replaced with concern. "What are you doing here? Are you ok?"

"I can't just drop by and visit you anymore?"

Hallie washed her hands before saying, "I'll take my lunch break now, let's grab something then sit in the break room."

A short while later they were sat in the ER staff lounge. Casey was about to tuck into his sandwich when Hallie asked, "Have you got all…"

"In my truck," he replied quickly.

Hallie didn't protest, she'd rather he carry everything around on his person at least he'd not left the house without anything.

"Matt Casey!" A loud booming voice greeted as the door opened, allowing the rushing and chaotic noises of the ER to enter. "You look a lot better than when I last saw you!"

A blank expression lay across Casey's face.

"You have no idea who I am," the doctor spoke with a smile.

"Sorry."

"I treated you straight after your accident, my first day here and admittedly I was a tad nervous when I discovered that you were my attendee's husband," he said, "How are you doing?"

"Good," he nodded, "I should be back at work soon."

Hallie smiled at the determination she heard in his voice, something she'd not heard since before the crash.


	6. Sick

"Shay!" Hallie called over when she saw her leaving the ER with an empty gurney. "Where's Dawson?"

"She went home sick this morning, popped by your house and…"

"Matt said you stopped by when we were having lunch, he seems to be under the illusion I have several people doing daily check-ups on him."

"You have though," Shay smirked.

"Wait... Dawson's sick? Did she see Casey?" she asked in quick succession.

"Yeah… I didn't realise she had a cold until…" she sighed.

"Is she trying to get suspended again?" she questioned incredulously, Dawson really couldn't afford to get suspended again, she'd already lost her PIC role because of her actions two years ago. "I don't know how you can put up with her still."

"By trying to keep out of her business." Shay shrugged.

"You're her PIC," Hallie responded.

"I know… the concept is still odd, it's been…"

"Nearly two years, you should pull rank on her more if you don't like what she does," Hallie advised.

"You just don't like her because she still eyes up Casey every chance she gets," Shay laughed.

"Yeah you think she'd be over that by now!" Hallie scoffed, "Matt still finds it all incredibly amusing. Although I can understand why everyone likes him, but I am biased."

* * *

Casey was used to putting on appearances, he was used to being brave when inside he was petrified, he was used to smiling when he wanted to breakdown, he was used to being calm when he wanted to lash out, he was used to being indifferent when inside he cared so much he thought he'd explode. He was a leader and those qualities he kept hidden weren't needed by a leader, he couldn't show them in front of his men, he couldn't let them see that he was scared, worried, angry, that he cared too much, that he desperately needed to make sure that the victims he pulled out of fires, crumpled cars, were alive, but they weren't supposed to follow through. He was supposed to be brave and lead by example, he couldn't lead by example if he showed his fear, if he showed his anger. When there was no one checking up on him, when Hallie wasn't home, he just wanted to sleep on the couch but he made an effort to clean as much as he could post-surgery and he'd make dinner for her every day and desert as well. He didn't want her to worry about him, she had enough on her plate as an attendee.

"You've made dinner again? You should be resting, I'm happy to make…" Hallie began when she arrived home.

"Did enough resting in the hospital," he replied.

"You look exhausted." She placed a hand on his cheek, "Why don't you go and lie down, I'll keep an eye on dinner."

"I'm all right, and besides it'll be ready soon."

* * *

Hallie was woken up with a start, she had no idea what had caused her abrupt consciousness, she looked to her right expecting see her husband fast asleep by her side but his side of the bed was empty.

"Matt?" She found him in the living room, sitting on the couch, he hadn't bothered to turn the lights on. "Baby, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, go back to bed," he spoke in the darkness.

"Only if you come with me," she replied.

He shook his head. "I'm not tired."

"You had a nightmare?" Her husband's silence told her all she needed to know. "Come back to bed."

"I hate this," Casey said quietly once he back under the bed covers.

Under the covers Hallie slipped her arm around his.

"I hate the uncertainty," he clarified, "I hate not knowing what's going to happen."

"If, and I mean _if_ you don't get cleared to work in the field that doesn't mean the end of the CFD for you," she replied.

He shook his head. "I don't want to work in an office, I don't want a white shirt."

"You could teach?" she suggested. "I know I'd be a lot less worried if you weren't running into burning buildings."

"I can't imagine teaching, I'd feel like I was stuck on the side lines whilst everyone else was getting ready for action," he explained.

"Arson? Kelly knows a lot of…"

"I don't have nearly enough experience," he replied.

"Are you just gonna shoot down every option I can think of?"

"Sorry I don't mean to…" he sighed, "Let's just not talk about it. Let's just see what happens."

* * *

"Morning," Hallie greeted him as he woke wearily the next day. "Do you still feel up to today?"

"Remind me what is today?" he asked tiredly as he pushed away the bed covers.

"Birthday lunch with my sister," she replied.

"Wow this week has gone surprisingly fast…" he commented. "But yeah of course I'm up for it."

"It's smart casual," she informed him," I need to pick up my dress from the dry cleaners and I've not wrapped her present up yet."

"I'll go to the dry cleaners for you," he told her. He wanted to do something useful, he'd been trying to keep his waking hours occupied with cooking and cleaning but he still felt rather useless and unhelpful.

"No, but you can wrap the present up, you've always been neater than me," she smiled.

"I don't mind going to…"

"I know, but it's going to be a long day," she replied. "You are still spending a lot of the time asleep." She quickly added, "Which is a good thing, I'm glad you're listening to your doctors advice and taking it easy."

* * *

"It was nice to do something normal for a change," Casey commented as they got into his truck after having the birthday lunch with Hallie's sister, he'd found it a stressful experience trying to choose foods off the menu that wouldn't cause an issue later on. He didn't want to let on that he was sick, he had already been a little worried about any questions he'd receive since Hallie's whole family knew he'd been in an accident. It wasn't that he didn't want them to know, or that he didn't like them, in fact as soon as he'd met them nearly ten years ago they had all accepted him as part of their family, he just didn't want concern or sympathy no matter how well intended it was.

"Did you check…" Hallie started as she fastened her seatbelt

"In the bathroom less than five minutes ago," he replied. "Getting good aren't I?" he mocked.

"Sorry, Matt, it's taking time to get used to, I'm just worried that we'll forget and something bad will happen… I was only down in the ER for two hours and… Sorry I know you hate people worrying."

"I worry about it too," he admitted lightly. "And I'm glad you make sure I'm all right because… because I'm worried something will happen too."

She smiled. "You're ok to drive?"

He'd driven them there, partly so Hallie could have a drink but she'd declined any alcohol whilst they had their meal. "Yeah," he nodded, he pulled away from the curb, "Like I said this normalcy is nice."

"It has been a nice day." She glanced at Casey and smiled.

"There's still a lot of the day left."

"And what do you suggest we do?"

"A lovely long warm bath."

"With candles and flower petals…" she frowned, "No flower petals, we'll only have to clean them up afterwards."

"So romantic," Casey chuckled.

* * *

They sat in the tub together, the warm water had misted the mirror and glass shower panel, the candles flickered in the darkened room. Casey was sitting with his back against the end of the tub, Hallie was in front him, his muscular arms wrapped around her slender form.

"I could lie here forever," she said softly.

"If only the water wouldn't get cold and I could feel my legs…" he teased.

"Oh God so…" But she stopped when her husband laughed aloud. "Leave it up to you to spoil the moment," she shook her head but smiled nevertheless.

Hallie stopped smiling when Casey's laughter turned into a short coughing fit. "I'm fine, you don't need to look at me like that."

She turned her back around. "Do you feel sick?"

"I'm…" But rather than brushing her off he admitted, "I've had a sore throat since I woke up this morning, so no I don't feel sick, it's just a sore throat, I'm fine."

* * *

But Casey wasn't fine.

Over the next twenty-four hours his simple sore throat and cough turned into an onslaught of chills, fever and a hacking cough. His body ached all over and every time he moved he felt incredibly dizzy. His surgery had made him very vulnerable to infection and the fact that part of his spleen had been removed meant his body was going to find it much harder to fight the flu that now plagued his body.

Hallie was annoyed at herself for not keeping any tight restriction on visitors, she'd been careful herself, changing her clothes before coming home from work in case she ever came into contact with anyone carrying anything, but she had a horrible feeling that she knew what had set off her husband's illness and she only hoped that Shay had written Dawson up for coming to work sick and not reporting it immediately.

"Matt, drink this for me." Hallie held the apple juice up to Casey's lips, he was lying on the couch under a heap of blankets, too exhausted and threatened by dizziness to move back to the bedroom.

"M'all right..." he mumbled.

"You're not, your blood sugar's really low, you need to drink this if you won't eat anything," Hallie explained, she was sat right by his side trying to coax him into drinking.

"Cold," he protested weakly.

She placed the back her hand on his forehead. "You're still burning up."

Shakily he held out a hand and accepted the apple juice, she helped him keep it to his lips as he drink, When he couldn't drink anymore he spoke, "You're going to get sick here. Go to work?"

She shook her head. "I'm not going in, someone's covering for me." She opened a pack of Dextrose and passed him a one, "Have this then you can go back to sleep."

* * *

Casey was showing no signs of improvement forty-eight hours later and to make matters worse he was nauseous and could barely keep anything down, he was dehydrated from the lack of fluids and even weaker from the lack of food, his blood glucose levels were all over the place, Hallie was struggling to keep them within the normal range. She'd already used up his emergency supply of D50 injections. She needed help.

She called one of her interns. "I need a favour…"

* * *

Two hours later Hallie had Casey hooked up to some fluids, she doubted he'd remember much of anything from the last few days, his lucidity had waned so much that at one point he thought he was talking to Andy.

* * *

"Sev?"

"Yeah it's me bud," Severide replied gently, "How are…"

"Hals?"

"She's asleep," Severide explained.

"Good…" then he frowned, "She sick?"

"No, she's fine," Severide reassured him, "How are you feeling?"

"Better… tired…"

"Think you can try eating something?"

The look across Casey's face gave him his answer.

"Ok, just go back to sleep then."

* * *

Casey was exhausted but he'd woken with a pressing need. He pushed away the blankets, felt the pull of the IV on the back his hand, and made to get up off the couch.

"Woah... Case, hang on." Severide rushed over to his struggling friend.

"Bathroom..." Casey slurred.

"Ok, I've got you," he slipped Casey's arm over his shoulder, grabbed the IV bag off the coat rack and helped him up.

* * *

"Hallie..." he'd woken up blearily but for the first time in four days his head didn't ache and his throat didn't feel like raw sandpaper.

"Hey." Hallie smiled down at him, in the last twelve hours he started to look and act much more like himself, he was no longer quite so pale, there was no fever and he hadn't thrown up for a whole day now. "You look like you're feeling a little better?"

"I am," he smiled tiredly, he frowned, "Sorry I've been so…"

"Sorry you've been sick? Shut up, Matt," she teased. "I'm going to heat some soup up for you."

"I am a hungry," he admitted.

"Good," she nodded, "You really are feeling better."


	7. News

"Baby, are you coming to bed?" Hallie called into the ensuite.

"In a minute," Casey replied, he was standing by the worktop and mirror, his left hand was tracing the long scar on his torso, he was noticeably thinner but he was thankful the hues of yellow and light brown bruises that had remained on his skin for weeks and weeks had finally faded. He slipped a top on and joined Hallie in bed.

"Are you cold?" she questioned, he'd be wearing clothes to bed since he returned home from the hospital, it was unusual for him to wear anything more than a pair black figure hugging boxers when he slept.

He just shrugged and adjusted the bed covers.

"Matt?"

He sighed. "It just stands out so much, it's ugly and…"

"Your scar?" she asked. "You have a scar here too," she brushed the back of his head, "And here… and…"

"Stop."

"They just show how strong you are," she told him.

"I don't look strong," he said almost petulantly.

"Your arms are three times the size of mine and…" she sighed, understanding what he was talking about, "Yes you've lost weight but that's nothing you can't deal with, and whatever you look like; I will always love you, you know that. Even when you're old and grey I will love you. You never need to worry about that, I will always love you, no matter what, I will never leave you, I'll never hurt you…"

"What if I ever hurt you? What if I do something stupid like…"

"You are not your parents." A reminder she had given him several times since their marriage, since he had divulged his past to her it was something she always knew he was worried about and there always seemed to be little she could do to dissuade him from those thoughts.

"Matt, you in?" Shay called after knocking on the front door and receiving no answer.

"Yeah, what…" he opened the door, he'd quickly put on his dressing gown after hearing the knock on the door as he stepped out of the shower. "Hi," he greeted a young paramedic he didn't recognise.

"Hi, Lieutenant Casey," she stated nervously, not sure where to look as his dressing gown gaped open.

"I've been home for a month..." Casey stated as he secured his dressing gown, "Surely Hallie's still not having people check up on me?"

"We came for brownies," Shay responded.

"I've not made any… When are you guys going to stop dropping by so I can shower without fear being interrupted?"

"Erm…"

"Do you think Hallie will ever trust me to look after myself?" he teased.

"She trusts you… she just…" Shay trailed off. "You've not made brownies?"

"No," he stated, "Where's Dawson?"

"Suspended until next week," Shay replied.

"She's been suspended? She kick someone off the back of the ambulance again?" Casey grinned

"Yeah something like that," she replied.

"If you want food to take back to the house all I can offer you is biscuits from the back the cupboard… No idea how long they've been there but you didn't really come for food, did you?" he questioned knowingly.

Two weeks later Hallie and Casey were sitting at their dining room table eating breakfast, Hallie was flicking through a medical journal as he sat eating his toast and reading the daily newspaper they received.

"Take a look at this." Hallie passed him the article she had just read.

He glanced up after reading it and stated. "Be useful if EMTs could start using it in the field."

"Yeah imagine the time it could save."

"And the lives," he responded, "Bet it won't happen for a long time even if they do decide to start rolling out."

"Politics," Hallie shook her head.

"Yup..." he scoffed.

They finished their breakfast but continued sitting lazily at the table, it was Hallie's day off and neither of them had plans.

"Do you need to check your…" Hallie began but she hadn't needed to.

"It was fine when I woke up and I feel fine now," he replied honestly, he'd become a lot more fine-tuned to his body's needs, most the time he could tell if his levels were high or low.

Hallie watched as her husband's finger tapped at the wooden table as he read through the newspaper. "What's Kelly up to today?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, not spoke to him for a few days."

"You should go on a guys night out," she suggested.

He frowned, a questioning look across his face.

"You're bored," she said. "You've not done anything fun for weeks and I know you're worried about your appointment in a couple of weeks." Casey would soon know whether or not he would ever be going back to active duty.

"So you're suggesting a wild night out with Kelly Severide?" he grinned.

"Yeah... I mean what harm could really happen." If she sounded like she was trying to convince herself it was because she was.

"You picked us both up from the police station last time you said that," he pointed out.

"And I'm still desperately trying to forget that incident."

For the whole hour before Severide arrived at their house Hallie reminded Casey that any alcohol he consumed was likely to cause a drop in his blood sugar levels. She was still reminding him to be sensible when he and Kelly were standing at the door about to leave.

"I'll be fine, don't wait up," Casey insisted.

Hallie looked from her husband to his best friend. "Kelly…"

"I know, I know; you could kill me in thousand different ways, and the cops would never know it was you if your husband doesn't come home in one piece."

"Good," she gave quick nod, her eyes glinted teasingly in the light from the porch. "Have fun but…"

"But not too much," Casey grinned.

"Another round of shots!" Severide called over to the waitress that had just walked past their table.

Casey looked down at the empty glasses in front of him, the colourful lights reflected off them, mesmerising him.

"Case?" Severide grabbed his friends arm.

"What?" he frowned, it was hard to hear above the noise of the club.

"I said what do you think Hallie's up to?" Severide repeated loudly.

"Up to?"

"Why do you think she wants the house to herself?" Severide reiterated.

"Oh… I imagine she's just fed up of me being around 24/7, she's used to having at least one night a week without me," he laughed, "She's probably watching all those reality TV shows that she pretends she doesn't like."

Their fresh drinks arrived, blue and florescent, but Casey barely had time to wonder why all the drinks they were having were so bright before he and Severide downed them.

He soon slipped off to the men's room, Hallie's warning words in the front of his mind despite his state of inebriation. He checked his blood glucose levels in the privacy one of the stalls before joining Severide back at the bar to discover he'd ordered even more shots.

Casey woke up the next morning to an incredibly irritating buzzing noise.

"Casey…" Severide moaned. "Turn it off…"

He frowned and opened his eyes to find his phone buzzing away right next to his head, he fumbled with it, his eyes squinted against the horrific light in the room. "Hello," he answered with a croak.

" _Matt!"_ it was Hallie, _"Where were you this morning? I've been calling you and Kelly since I woke up."_

"Erm…" He pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked blearily around. "… I'm… erm… I'm at Sev's…" Or more precisely, he was sprawled across the end of Severide's bed.

 _"How drunk did you get?"_ she questioned.

"Erm… I'm all right…"

_"Have you checked your levels this morning? Have you eaten yet? It's nearly 10am…"_

"I…" He thought for a moment. "I feel all right… I mean… I'm really hungover but I'm all right…"

" _Matt,"_ she said warningly.

"Checking now…" he fumbled over the bed to find his jacket on the floor, in his hungover state it took him a while to insert a fresh strip into his monitor before pricking his finger and waiting for the reading. "Normal," he told her tiredly, "Can I go back to sleep now? I'll come home later…"

She sighed. _"I'm at work so I'll see you tonight."_ She wasn't at all angry with him for not turning up at home in the early hours but she was annoyed he'd not let her know where he was, at least her plan had worked and he'd actually had some fun for the first time since the accident.

"Hey," Casey greeted her with a guilty expression late that evening when she walked in from work.

"Do you feel awful?" she asked as she put her bag down on the floor.

"Not so bad now," he smiled but the smile soon dropped, "I'm sorry I didn't come home… sorry I didn't tell you… to be honest I don't remember a lot of the night…"

"I'm not surprised," she responded, "You've not had anything to drink since before the accident and you went out bar crawling with Kelly."

"You forgive me?"

"Forgive you?" she repeated. "It was my suggestion, you needed a break, a chance to forget about the crap that's happened recently. You had a good time?"

"Yes…" he frowned, "From the little that I can remember anyway." She laughed at him, shaking her head before kissing him on the cheek and heading to their bedroom to change.

Casey was sitting in the waiting room outside his doctor's office two weeks later, Hallie had said she would try her best to be with him during his appointment but so far he was sat alone nervously flipping through a magazine, taking no notice of its contents as he did.

"Lieutenant Casey?" The doctor appeared in the waiting room after what felt like an inordinate amount of time although he must have only been sitting there for fifteen minutes.

Just as he got up to follow the doctor into the office he heard Hallie. "Matt," she smiled when she reached him, she was still wearing her scrubs. "Told you I'd make it up here," she squeezed his arm comfortingly.

"Doctor Casey," the doctor greeted her and the three of them walked into his office.. "Take a seat."

As they sat down the doctor opened up Casey's file. Casey kept his eyes on his face but the doctors expression was passive and he couldn't tell if he was about to be given good or bad news.

"Well, I am happy to say that I can clear you for duty, the blood tests we took last week show the improvement in the function of your pancreas and I'm happy with…"

"I'm fine?" he interrupted disbelieving, "After everything I'm fine?"

"You still need to be careful, listen to your body but there's no reason I can't clear for duty," the doctor replied.

"I…" Casey frowned, still not quite believing what he had just been told.

"You weren't expecting good news," the doctor smiled, "We'll do a couple of blood tests in few months but I have no doubt that they'll come back good."

"Are you all right?" Hallie questioned when her husband didn't utter a word as he drove them home.

He nodded and kept his concentration on the road. When they reached their house he turned off the engine but made no move to get out of the car.

Hallie reached across and took his hand. "You were really expecting bad news even though you've felt much…"

"I don't get it… I don't get how I could have been so lucky. Eight weeks ago I thought I had cancer, thought I was going to die. This morning I thought I would never be able to go back to active duty," he said, staring out the windscreen, a frown on his face.

"Finding the tumour was lucky," Hallie replied, "Getting cleared for work was always a possibility, you just kept thinking you wouldn't, you didn't want to set yourself up for disappointment."

"Back to work tomorrow." Casey smiled as he entered the bedroom, he stripped off his clothes, leaving just his boxers.

"And back into bed with very little clothing on." Hallie grinned as she herself started to change, happy he was finally comfortable with his body in front her once again.

"How about no clothes at all..." He took off his boxers, moved in front of her and unclipped her bra at ease, letting it fall to floor by her feet. He slipped his hands between her hips and her panties and slipped them off. In one swift movement he picked her up so she was straddling his hips and whilst kissing her laid her down onto the bed. Still kissing the soft skin of her neck he fumbled across to the bedside table.

"Don't bother," she breathed.

He halted his actions, drew his arm back from the table and frowned down at her.

"I can't think of a better time than right now to start a family."

He grinned and went back to giving her soft skin the attention it needed with his lips.


End file.
